I was admiring the absolute and utter brilliance that is a child’s comprehension of typical conversation today.  My mind took me straight back to Target.  Why is it that kids brainstorm so much in busy department stores?  Ok…here is the story of twatbones and Target.

When I was about 5 months pregnant with my second son, my pelvic bones started to separate as they would in preparation for birth.  It started with only a slight movement. As the baby grew and gained weight, the bones slipped further and further apart.  The farther apart the bones got, the more pain I felt.  I could lay down, but it was impossible to get back up on my own.  I couldn’t sit in the same place for very long. And walking, pffffftttttt! At 9 months, I really didn’t feel well enough to venture out much.  So, on a rainy day, my mother-in-law, my son, and I load up and go to Target to get a few last minute things for the baby.  We are walking around looking at stuff, my mother-in-law telling me that the more I walked the faster the baby would come.  We are walking around, and I am having contractions.  I have to stop every few minutes and lean on the cart to relax those pelvic bones that hurt so bad.  We were standing in the shoe department, and my son dropped some slippers on the ground. “Ah, damn!” I thought.  “Now, not only do I have to walk through this hot, stuffy department store, but now…NOW, I have to bend all the way over to pick up some freakin’ Scooby Doo slippers!”  I moaned as I was standing back up, and my 2 year old says, “What’s a matter mom? Does your twatbone hurt?”  WTF?!?  Who the hell says twatbone?  I bet he didn’t learn that from Dora the Explorer.

Last 5 posts in Fun With Kids

• Crazier than a fruit cake. - March 12th, 2008
• The mom test - March 6th, 2008
• Mama's All Grownup Now - February 29th, 2008
• To be, or not to be? - February 11th, 2008
• Never to Young to think Critically! - January 15th, 2008