Oops, wrong title.
I mistook her for a buck-toothed cow.

Ever seen an ass up close?
Co-workers often resemble asses. Have you noticed?
Usually female, blonde, a bit long in the tooth and stoopid. Have to whack ‘em across the forehead with a two-by-four to get their attention, and they’re mean as hell.

She doth remind me of the “Princess and The Teeth”.

ONCE upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry an ass; but she would have to be a real ass. He looked all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted. There were asses enough, but it was difficult to find out whether they were real ones. There was always something about them that was not as it should be. So he came home again and was sad, for he would have liked very much to have a real ass.
One evening a terrible storm came on; there was thunder and lightning, and the rain poured down in torrents. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the city gate, and the old king went to open it.
It was an ass standing out there in front of the gate. But, good gracious, what a sight the rain and the wind had made her look! The water ran down from her hair and clothes; it ran down into the toes of her shoes and out again at the heels. And yet she said that she was a real ass.
“Well, we’ll soon find that out,” thought the old queen. But she said nothing, went into the bedroom, took all the bedding off the bedstead, and laid huge teeth on the bottom; then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on the teeth, and then twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses.
On this the ass had to lie all night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.
“Oh, very badly!” said she. “I have scarcely closed my eyes all night. Heaven only knows what was in the bed, but I was lying on something hard, so that I am black and blue all over my body. It’s horrible!”
Now they knew that she was a real ass because she had felt the teeth right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty eider-down beds.
Nobody but a real ass could be as sensitive as that.
So the prince took her for his Royal Ass, for now he knew that he had a real ass; and the teeth were put in the museum, where they may still be seen, if no one has stolen them.

(Dedicated to Bildo, who puts up with the toothy Royal Ass on a daily basis.)