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As many of you know, I am a stay-at-home mom. I also care for two little girls while their mom works. Therefore, I am with four children all day, two of which 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I usually do well with patience. Sometimes, however, I feel like I should be Baker Acted into the nearest mental health facility, with a quickness. When I am frustrated and need a break, I get told that it is my job to do the things I do. I have a good idea that it is normal to need a break away from your kids…right? Okay, so maybe I spread myself a bit thin sometimes. I am about to thin out a bit more… My Mamaw died almost 3 years ago from cancer. My Papaw died almost 2 years ago from a massive heart attack in his sleep. My little cousin was left with them when he was a baby by his mother (she is my Mamaw’s daughter). After my Papaw died, he got sent to live with his mother, who never had much to do with him his whole life. She committed suicide two months later and left a note blaming my little cousin for what she did. She said he would be better off without her (which is probably the truth). BUT, that left an enormous amount of guilt for this boy to have to deal with…he is only 16. He has no one to turn to. This boy and I had not had a lot of contact in the past. He was my little brother’s best friend (I am 7 years older than my brother and 9 years older than my cousin), but other than that we only had contact when someone in the family died. Just the other day, he started emailing me. Then, last night he called me. I must say, it was weird…and not a little bit, just plain awkward. I want him to know he can come to me if he needs to, but I have no idea where to start this relationship off. He is obviously reaching out to me. Being a mom and listening to the things he says, only makes me want to go to him and hold him tight. I am struggling with the instinct I have and what the situation really is. I am not sure how to help him other than to let him know I am here. I can only hope that is what he needs. My husband tells me that everyone calls me Big Mama for a reason. I can guess he is referring to the movie Soul Food. In that case, I take it as an endearing term. But even Big Mama needs some help from time to time. So, advice would be appreciated, a good, stout shot of whiskey much obliged, and a call to Dr. Phil might be in order. Here I thought I was in need of a break. This only goes to show that a good mama’s work is never done.
Comments:
5 Comments posted on "In Need of a Break…"
Mudder on November 15th, 2007 at 7:49 pm #
Always show a well-turned ankle, never bite off more than you can chew, remember a woman’s work is never done, things happen for a reason, and when you reach menopause you’ll lose your mind. If you make a decision, live with it. If you don’t like it, change it. It’s up to you. Do what feels right and hope for the best. If it hurts, don’t do it anymore. If you do then kick yourself in the ass for making the same mistake twice. All taken from my grandmother’s wisdom, and words to live by. Ultimately, <i>you</i> are in control.
girl on November 17th, 2007 at 10:31 am #
You sure sound like you have a big heart.
Joe on November 19th, 2007 at 1:13 am #
Wow! I would always remember that you need to make sure you don’t worn out by all this and that would only succeed and making you less of an individual and thus less of a parent by being torn in many stressful directions, that being said I w ould make sure to follow your gut and be a friend and help the boy through being a shoulder but also to direct him to those who can help him in charitable organizations who donate time to counsel troubled youth. Just a thought.
Yer MaMa on November 19th, 2007 at 8:54 am #
I’m with Joe on this one my friend. You’re only capable of so much, and really if it’s awkward professional help would be better, and instead of worrying so much about his mind frame, you can get to know him in baby steps, and allow him to become part of your family if he choses. Loving and supporting him is one thing,trying to fix him is another. I love you lady, please don’t overdo things, holidays are coming, and you’re always already so busy.
MamaSlaa on November 23rd, 2007 at 7:38 am #
OK, so first things first, THANK YOU for all of your great advice…I am sorry it has taken me so long to come back…busy, busy. I called him up and asked him if he would want to come over to my house for Thanksgiving dinner. He said he couldn’t that he had to go to my brother’s house (That is not a good situation for me, but that is a whole other post.) BUT, he did seem very gracious for the offer. He said a hundred times, “I am sorry I already have plans…Thanks for caring about me that much.” This to me makes me hurt inside…caring that much??? It is only Thanksgiving dinner!!! Who is there to give him advice with all the important things…girls, cars, and school work??? I know my little brother can not give him good advice. My little brother is stuck on Momma’s tittie. I hope he lets me in…I think that over time, he will get more comfortable with the way things could be. He may have to entertain the thought a few or many times first. You know what they say: Try, try, and try again. I love having ya’ll as a support group…YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! Post a comment
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